Version 1.0 : Fear

I walked the hallway- the familiar dark dungeon with rooms of the mighty mortals on the right! As I paced forward, I knew I had arrived. The wait was over, formalities completed and registration forms duly filled out. I had arrived, yet, with an unnerving sense of apprehension.

'Fear', I call it now!

The entry to the Electrical Engineering batch of 2012 came about with a gargantuan sense of uncertainty. Regarding friends, of the days to come and basically, to sum it all up, the process of assimilation. I knew only a single soul on the 24th of July, 2009 in the milieu of a 111. Today, I can very proudly proclaim, that I am well acquainted with about more than half the strength of the class. The fear still lingers in me- 'Am I a part of the group, or is the perception of me being an outsider still there?'. Well, such questions may never be answered and thus I will have to be content with the status quo.

A very different kind of 'fear' - if at all you can call it that - was of the much talked about pig flu! Yeah! I was s'oooo' scared. I even left college a few days earlier than the scheduled vacations just to save myself. Alas, thinking of it now, it was all fun! Running off home on the pretext of something as silly as H1N1 made me a complete jerk, which truly I believe I am! *nods profusely*

Yet another 'fear' came up on the psycho-emotional front. The fear of being alone. I have always maintained that I am a people's person, and to this day, the notion hasn't been challenged. But somewhere down the line, I felt very lonely.

Void. Vacuum. Nothing.

I still reel under the same fear. Travelling back home last night, I was taking in all that passed during the last 100 odd days and take my word on it, I was very sullen. As the train pulled out of the bustling platform no. 3, I wanted the fear in me to melt away. It did to some extent, yet not completely. I don't know when I'll be back to my normal self. They say time heals all, and thus, here I am swiftly keying in each character with utmost sincerity, hoping that the 'healer' gets to work A.S.A.P.

'Fear' they say, makes you stronger. Antithesis if you ask me, but then again, I cannot deny the fact that I feel stronger as a person today than what I was sometime back. It's good to be scared. It makes you realise the importance of being content with what you have.

It doesn't take a genius to know that we tend to run away from what we fear, and I am merely doing the same. I don't know whether that is the right way of doing things, but I know for sure, it's the best option that I have. To save myself from further turmoil, I need to retract into my groove where the bogeyman cannot stalk me.

Boo!

NOT!