Clenching a fistful of sand!

At the outset, I will try not to make this an overtly sentimental, rather emotional, post like the previous ones. But due to the content that is going to go into this soliloquy, please give me the requisite space to take the necessary liberties.

It has been a very uneventful summer. Nine weeks of unlimited stupor, unbound rest and gluttony have made me realise the importance of quite a few things. Of my 6 by 6 bed. Of my 2000 square feet floor which I call home. Of a 46 year old beautiful lady who I call Ma.

I came home looking forward to the most relaxing time in the past 12 months. I got that for sure! But very soon, I was also plagued by a benign disease, 'boredom'. I started having my tiffs at home on very trivial, rather petty, issues. I lost my cool when I had to eat okra even though I like it. I was preoccupied, or so I thought. But that wasn't enough. I needed to go out. To rejuvenate. To escape to a place I hadn't been before.

Unfortunately, those plans never materialised and I was at one place, mostly the bed, for straight 8 weeks.

The summer wasn't that bad, ofcourse! I met up with school friends. Went to the cinemas. Chatted with my granny for hours together. Started writing a blog. Learnt how to manoeuvre a car and rekindled my old passion of going for a run every morning.

Today, when I have less than 48 hours to head back to my life at Roorkee, I feel lost. I am going to miss everything that I failed to appreciate. I am going to miss the ghar ka khana. I am going to miss my daily routine- of doing nothing! I am going to miss the caressing touch while drifting to sleep. I am going to miss the 'Eat your food properly' refrain. I am going to miss Ma.

It is so very strange that we take these things for granted. We yearn for freedom. We yearn to be with friends. In the process, we underestimate all this. I am here today standing with my fist clenched trying to hold on to sand. I know what is going to happen. I know I cannot change what is going to happen. I hope it takes a longer time for the sand to escape my hands. I want to apologise to each grain of sand for my ignorance. I want to make it feel special. But alas, time forbids me to do so. And so does human nature. We aren't very effusive when it comes to telling the people who mean the most to us, how important they are in our lives. So this is to all of you who have with-held themselves hitherto. Go and give your folks a huge smile and a warm hug before you leave home this time. After all, that's what'll keep them going till the next time you see them.

They deserve it!