Metro Aunty!

This post is purely a work of fiction and bears no resemblance to anyone living or dead. I cannot recall the other part of the statutory warning so let me NOT exercise my bird-brain too much.

Have you met the Metro Aunty?

Have you faced her wrath?

Let me introduce you to the newest predator on the block- The Metro Aunty!

Ever since the Delhi Metro started getting 'derailed' from the right track and it's subsequent 'crumbling' under the 'stress and tension' from the Delhi Government, the corporation has decided to check on the security aspect of the operations. Thus, the Metro Aunty was born!

How does a Metro Aunty look like?

She is your typical h'A'lthy punjabi (NO offence meant) aunty ji. With curves that literally kill you (of shock) and a voice that makes you accede to the fact that a crow's cacophony is the sweetest sound ever heard, you can't miss her. Statistically she is about 40-45 years old, stand at 5ft1, weighs in at 170 pounds and is always seen in brightly coloured Indian apparels.

What does a Metro Aunty do?

She is a beauty on duty. Whenever you want to travel the metro, you have to go and talk it out with her. The first interrogation, "Aur bhai! Kahan ja rahe ho?" has to be politely replied. Then the conversation follows wherein you need to convince her that life isn't that bad even though the pulses are costing a fortune and that the sixth pay commission isn't a farce. Once she is satisfied, she leaves you with a friendly (back-breaking) pat on the back. If she isn't satiated, you're done for. I shall not get vivid about the further details.

If there is an anomaly, she gets mean. She will force you to discuss the latest sitcoms on Star Parivaar and shall not leave you till you convince her that bottle gourd is an inexpensive vegetable.

Why the Metro Aunty?

She is the perennial benign (yah right!) security chick. You can't, even if you force yourself, ogle at her. She can get as personal and intimate with the women miscreants and can deliver didactic sermons to young lings.

So next time you travel by the metro, beware! She is right there, waiting for you and hoping that you'll fall in her trap. Watch Out!

To you!

Why is it that whenever I read a post, the first thought to strike me is, 'I wish I could write even half of this.' And the people responsible for this criminal thought are none other than the people who are widely acknowledged for their brilliance.

There is a certain 'leftist' who leaves me awe-struck after every line he pens down. There is a certain big-'Bang' who writes just like he is - superb. There is a 'princess' who likes to write "not not" to please someone, but for herself. There is a Shakespeare incarnate who pours his heart out, leaving me gaping at his excellence. There is a certain 'Pee-Gee' who is dyslexic (read: spellings) but I am yet to come across a wittier, yet mellow, writer. There is another 'ET' who is great and I always try, I repeat, try to emulate him. But alas, I fail miserably. There is a pseudo 'Frenchman' who writes as if words are his monopoly and his style.. commenting on it would be doing injustice to literature. Yet another 'wrestler' namesake who is a wonderful human being, and whose writings are nothing short of precious gems.

It is rather very quaint how people influence you to such a great extent. And I am glad that they have. It has made me a better writer (I'd like to take the liberty of concluding thus), a more aware individual and an evolved person.

So just a plain-simple thank you folks! Saying anything more is going to ruin it. And that's the last thing I want.